Novel writing is a marriage. Have you been married to yours this year? Have you been unable to stop thinking about your latest storyline or character or obstacle? Do you resent the rest of life getting in the way? I hear ya!
Last month my husband and I celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary (we’ve been together for 16 years!) and it got me to thinking of how proud I am that we’ve made it this far. My in-laws have been married 45 years, so we have a way to go yet!
But like my in-laws, my husband and I are in it for the long haul and we’re gonna give it our best shot. That said, I am having an affair!
An affair of the heart
Are you like me, is your writing life your secret love? Are you having a fling with, or even married to, your writing? Novel writing is certainly one of the more intense relationsihps I’ve had!
Your first few chapters sail along in a honeymoon dream, words are flowing and scenes are shaping themselves beautifully.
Then you hit the two-years crunch point. The romance comes down to earth, things start to get real and you have to do some deliberate planning on where your story is going. You may even consider dumping the book. It’s not as exciting as it once was.
But you stick it out. There are some stumbling blocks along the way and tensions build to a crescendo. Things are all up in the air leaving you uncertain and a bit tearful. At last they tumble down into a comfortable and happy place.
Are you in it for the long haul?
Like my marriage, I’m sticking with my writing. I am in it for the long haul. Maybe it’s something different for you? Is it something you do sporadically as and when you feel like it and just for fun?
Is it something you do semi-seriously but are still a bit embarrassed to admit it? Are you scared that people might ask to see your work or know what it’s about? But you’re not ready to share, because what if it’s rubbish??
Or perhaps you are a seasoned writer, published or unpublished, who knows writing fiction is an itch you just have to scratch. Are you like me? Can you go for only so long before your have to plonk your bum in a seat and write something?
I feel that this is what differentiates the hobbyist from the professional. It is not about getting picked up by the one of the big five publishers, or the amount of money you make from your indie published books. It’s about how often you get your bum in the chair and produce those words.
Face your obstacles
Novel writing is a marriage, and like a real life marriage, it’s not about how madly in love you are or how perfect your relationship is, but about how often you come back to the table to try and work out how to get over this latest obstacle to move forward. It’s about sticking together and knowing you both want the best outcome.
Writing fiction is the same. You come across obstacles and you have to find a way to get through them. For example, you might struggle to find a good enough obstacle for your character to overcome. You might put your character into a situation and have no idea how to get them out of it.
Perhaps you’ve reached the halfway mark and are feeling frustrated by just how difficult it is to get to the end. But if you’re in it for the long haul you want the best outcome for your book and keep going. You find a way around the obstacles, build the tension and find a resolution.
My number one marriage guidance tip
The biggest advice I can give to you regarding your novel writing marriage is to show up when you say you will. Put a stake in the ground and remind yourself that this is a dream you want to see come true. If you’re a beginner writer that commitment may only once or twice a week. That’s enough.
The new writing relationship is exciting and you want to take it one date at a time. So if you arrange to meet your story twice in a week, be there. In time you and your novel will get to know each other better and you’ll want to spend more and more time together.
Put that stake in the ground and before you know it, you will be in a literary marriage made in heaven. The words you produce will fill you with pride and wonder, and you’ll want to share them with the world.
Are you a stay-at-home mum?
Are you a stay-at-home mum trying to get started with your writing but having difficulty finding the time? Read my ’10 Tips To Find Time To Write Even When You Have Small Children’ to get you inspired!
If you haven’t already, sign up to my Reader’s List and I’ll send you my free short story, Before She Came Home.
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