What stops your writing?
What Stops You Writing?
You want to write a novel. In fact, it’s something you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember. So what stops you writing?
You dabbled at school (English being your favourite subject, of course!)
You’ve journalled off and on for years.
You have very possibly taken part in evening classes or weekend workshops on how to start your novel.
Take comfort from the fact you are not alone in procrastinating! So what stops you writing?
There’s usually two things.
1. Confidence
You lack confidence in the quality of your writing.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO of an international financial institution, or regularly go into burning buildings and save lives. It doesn’t matter if you are a teacher who teaches other people to write!
You can be, in every other aspect of your life, assertive and knowledgeable. But when it comes to your writing, your confidence let you down. Why is this?
Writing craft
Some of it is to do with the practicalities of writing a novel. For example, how to structure the story, how to create believable characters or even how to write the very first sentence which, by the way, is usually one of the last sentences you write!
But some of it runs deeper than that. You feel you are baring your soul and being more vulnerable than you’ve ever been in your life.
Vulnerability
You worry that if people ever read your work, they would think the story was about you or reflects your own beliefs and thoughts.
Other people’s opinions will also hold you back. We writers are a strange breed indeed. Who else would want to spend hours alone talking and interacting with imaginary people?
I bet most people you know would rather be out socialising, chatting on the phone or browsing Amazon for their next daily deal. Whereas you and I, we would rather be tucked up in bed, or on the sofa or at the kitchen table with our laptop creating worlds that only exist in our heads.
It’s a waste of time
What we do is a bit on the strange side and, if we’re honest, many people just don’t “get” it. And that’s okay, they don’t have to.
But it can take a toll on your dreams. I know several people whose family members have dissuaded them from writing.
They’ve been told writing is a waste of time and will never pay the bills.
They’ve been made to feel guilty for wanting to do something for themselves. They have told it is a selfish thing to do.
This knocks your confidence and desire to create. It makes you question whether or not they’re right and it is a waste of time.
It leaves you examining if you have what it takes either in terms for writing craft and emotionally.
Take it from me that you do have what it takes. I know because I know you are an avid reader.
I know you have read tens of thousands, possibly even millions, of words.
And because of this you know how to tell a story – you just don’t believe it yet!
What else stops you writing?
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2. You don’t have time
This is the second thing that stops you writing.
You work full-time or part-time. You have children. You have parents to look after. You have a sibling to look after. You have grandchildren to look after.
You have friends you want to spend time with. You have hobbies you enjoy. You have sports you like to take part in.
At first glance this leaves you with little to no time to write. Especially if you follow Stephen King’s advice.
Stephen King
If you’ve read his memoir, On Writing, you’ve read that if you want to be a “proper” writer you need to write every day and for two hours a day.
I read this many years ago and took it to heart. Why would I not believe Stephen King given how successful and prolific he is?
I tried to do as he said. I tried to write every day for two hours, but how could I do that when I had 3 children to look after?
I was also trying to manage postnatal depression at the time, and while writing helped me escape my day-to-day emotions, I didn’t have the mental capacity to sit down for two hours at a time.
People often underestimate the amount of mental work it takes to create a world from nothing, especially when just getting through the day was difficult. I didn’t have any extra reserves to turn into this “proper” writer.
But think about it: Your life is busy, so how do you make time to see your friends? How do you find the time to watch that TV drama that you love? How do you find the time to play netball on a Wednesday evening every week?
All of these things, things you enjoy, you make time for. And it’s the same for your writing.
If you enjoy writing you can make time for it.
Transition
However, I don’t believe you need to write for hours every day to be a writer. Becoming a writer takes time and you need to allow yourself a period of transition.
You can write for small periods of time, two or three times a week. You can start training yourself to sit down and write straight away, but that takes time.
You need to find your groove, your routine, and build your confidence over a period of time. By starting small you take the pressure off. Build your writing time, and in time your confidence, in small increments.
Are you ready?
So now it’s up to you. Do you want this?
Are you ready to make the commitment to yourself (nobody else, just you) and show up each week?
Are you going to keep giving yourself the excuse that you don’t have what it takes nor do you don’t have the time, or are you going to acknowledge that being a writer takes time and you need to go through a period of transition?
If you are struggling with confidence and how to make the time you need, rest reassured that you are in good company. Everybody, even published writers, struggle with this to a greater or lesser degree.
The difference is, those published writers faced their fears and did it, anyway.
If you love writing, if that’s what makes you happy and fulfils a part of you that nothing else can, you owe it to yourself to ignore your naysayers, ignore your own inner critic, and get started.
What are you gonna do? The decision is yours, but if you are ready to start, I am ready to help you.
If this article was useful, you’ll love:
If you’ve been working on your novel for years (perhaps even decades) the maybe it's time to consider working with a coach.
If you have multiple versions of your novel and you don’t know which works best, are scared nobody will like your book and don't feel like a 'real' writer, then my guess is coaching is the right next step for you.
Find out more and sign up for your free Clarity Call here: https://emmadhesi.com/personal-coaching/
Emma Dhesi writes women’s fiction. She began writing seriously while a stay at home mum with 3 pre-school children.
By changing her mindset, being consistent and developing confidence, Emma has gone from having a collection of handwritten notes to a fully written, edited and published novel.
Having experienced first-hand how writing changes lives, Emma now helps beginner writers find the time and confidence to write their first novel.
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