How to Stay in Control. Coping with Stress as a New Writer

How to Stay in Control. Coping with Stress as a New Writer

As a beginner fiction writer, you’re probably already familiar with the challenges of balancing creativity with the inevitable stress of trying to stay in control that comes with the territory. Whether it’s the pressure of meeting deadlines, the anxiety of crafting the perfect plot, or simply the fear of failure, stress can easily disrupt your writing flow and make you feel out of control.

When I was editing my first novel, The Day She Came Home, I noticed that my main character, Nicola, struggles with this very issue. Like many of us, she experiences moments of feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But Nicola finds an unexpected way to reclaim her sense of stability—by immersing herself in the wild, untamed elements of Shetland. 

The biting winds and harsh weather of the archipelago serve as her release, sweeping away her doubts and the negativity that life throws at her. The more she’s battered by the weather, the stronger and more in control she feels.

As writers, we all need to find our own ways to stay in control of our stress and emotions. For Nicola, it’s the power of nature. For me, it’s the solace I find in books.

Using Fictional Role Models to Stay in Control

When life’s battles seem overwhelming, I’ve found that one of the most effective ways to stay in control is to momentarily step away and immerse myself in the world of fiction. Losing myself in a book allows me to take on the life of the protagonist, sharing in their struggles and triumphs. 

In doing so, I gain a bit of distance from my own worries, and I find that my inner resolve is strengthened. If the characters in these stories can overcome their challenges, then so can I.

You might think, “That’s just fiction, not real life. How can it help?” But for me, fiction has never been “just fiction.” It’s a powerful tool that offers a new perspective on the world, allowing me to see life through someone else’s eyes. 

It’s an opportunity to experience different ways of living and approaches to handling adversity. Just because a character doesn’t exist in the real world doesn’t mean their story isn’t universal or deeply meaningful.

Take, for example, Jane Austen’s Emma. Emma Woodhouse is known for being a bit of a know-it-all, often getting carried away by her own desires without considering the impact on others. Unfortunately, I’ve seen some of these traits in myself at times! 

But Emma’s story offers comfort. Despite her flaws, she’s not a bad person—just a bit spoiled and unthinking at times. Yet, she’s also loveable and capable of growth. This realisation helped me see that I, too, could learn from my mistakes and become a better, more thoughtful person.

Finding Your Personal Escape

Another character who has inspired me is Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables. Anne is hot-headed and stubborn, but she also has a big heart. She dreams big and often finds herself lost in her imagination. But that doesn’t stop her from working hard to achieve her goals. 

Her journey to becoming a teacher, despite the odds, is a testament to her determination and resilience.

As a teenager, I found these fictional role models incredibly important. They provided me with examples of how to navigate the stresses of life, and their lessons have stayed with me into adulthood. Fiction became my release from the day-to-day pressures, offering me a safe space to explore emotions and challenges through the lives of my favourite characters.

But what about you? How do you cope with stress and stay in control when life feels overwhelming? Do you, like me, retreat into the pages of a book, finding comfort in the stories of others? 

Or do you, like my character Nicola, find solace in nature, letting the elements wash away your worries?

Embrace Your Unique Way to Stay in Control

Every writer has their own way of managing stress, and it’s important to find what works best for you. Whether it’s through fictional role models, the power of nature, or another form of escape, the key is to recognise when you’re feeling out of control and to take steps to regain your balance.

If you find that large social gatherings or hectic schedules leave you feeling drained, consider carving out time for quiet reflection. Maybe that means taking a walk in the park, spending time with a good book, or simply allowing yourself to daydream for a while.

These moments of solitude can be incredibly restorative, helping you to recharge and regain your sense of control.

On the other hand, if you’re someone who thrives on physical activity, perhaps your escape is through exercise or outdoor adventures. Just as Nicola finds strength in the winds of Shetland, you might discover that a brisk run or a challenging hike is exactly what you need to clear your mind and refocus your energy.

Final Thoughts: Staying in Control as an Introverted Author

As a new writer, it’s crucial to develop strategies that help you stay in control of your stress and maintain your creative flow. Whether you’re inspired by fictional characters, like Emma and Anne, or find peace in the natural world, the important thing is to recognise your needs and honour them.

Remember, writing is a journey, and it’s okay to take breaks and find ways to cope with the challenges along the way. By staying in control of your stress, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of the writing process and ultimately produce work that resonates with readers.

So, take a moment to reflect on what helps you stay grounded. Find your personal escape, embrace it, and use it to fuel your creativity. By doing so, you’ll not only manage your stress but also enrich your writing, making your stories more authentic and compelling.

If you’re a beginner writer and need help getting started, I invite you to sign up for my video series, 21 Days of Writing Inspiration? It provides daily motivation to get you unstuck so you can build momentum with your writing.

 

sitting woman with orange blouse

Emma Dhesi

Emma Dhesi is an author mindset coach and bestselling author who helps writers let go of perfectionism, self-doubt and writer’s block through her signature programme, Unlock Your Creative Block.

She is the host of the YouTube Channel, Emma Dhesi, where she interviews debut and experienced authors alike.

Through her 1:1 coaching programme, Emma helps new authors start and finish their first novel.

Emma provides personal written feedback on their pages and guides them through the emotional rollercoaster that is writing a novel!

Curiosity and Creativity in Fiction Writing

Curiosity and Creativity in Fiction Writing

Today, I’m going to talk about curiosity and creativity in fiction writing. Are you passionate about your writing? Has it been a dream of yours, perhaps even since childhood, to one day become a full-time writer? What would you give to trade in your day job for a life spent weaving stories, exploring characters, and bringing your ideas to life on the page?

For many of us, that dream has been a constant companion, whispering in our ears through the hustle and bustle of daily life. But often, the dream of writing can get sidetracked by the demands of work, social obligations, and family. 

Youth, in particular, can be both a blessing and a curse for aspiring writers. When I was younger, I lacked the discipline to sit down and write the 80,000 words needed to complete a novel. My passion for writing was there, but the focus and maturity were not.

But here’s the good news: it’s never too late to pursue your writing dreams. My passion for writing has found its second wind, and I’ve structured my life in such a way that I now write every day. 

The distractions of youth—work, socialising, travel, and raising children—may have pulled me away from writing for a couple of decades, but they’ve also given me a wealth of experiences to draw upon. Now, not only do I have the maturity to sit still long enough to write a chapter, but I also have something meaningful to say.

Curiosity and Creativity 

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned on my writing journey is the value of curiosity. Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favourite writers on the subject of creativity, explores this concept beautifully in her book Big Magic.

In it, she shares how curiosity, rather than passion, can be the true driving force behind creativity. Passion, as Gilbert explains, can be all-consuming but may eventually burn out.

Curiosity, on the other hand, is a gentler, more sustainable force. It doesn’t demand that you throw yourself into your work with reckless abandon; instead, it quietly nudges you to explore, to ask questions, and to follow where your interests lead.

You might start off wanting to write a short story, but curiosity will compel you to see if you can stretch it into a novella. Once you’ve written the novella, you might find yourself curious about whether you can handle the challenge of a full-length novel. 

Maybe you become intrigued by the lives of Chinese concubines and dive into historical research, which then inspires your next book. Or perhaps you’re curious about how a young widow might rebuild her life, and you begin to write her story to find out.

Curiosity, in this way, becomes a guiding star for your creativity. It leads you down paths you might never have envisioned, opening up new worlds and possibilities for your writing.

Embracing Curiosity in All Areas of Life

Curiosity isn’t just a tool for writing—it’s a way of life. Don’t feel confined by the career you’ve been in for the last decade. If you’re curious about learning a new skill or exploring a different path, go for it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

For instance, a friend once recommended a book by Robert Kiyosaki to me. Her enthusiasm sparked my curiosity, so I bought the book and read it. That initial curiosity led me to investigate how people follow their instincts to become dancers, public speakers, personal trainers, or property investors. I asked myself, “Could I do that?” My curiosity pushed me to try, and I discovered that I could.

Curiosity doesn’t just add depth to your writing; it enriches your entire life. It encourages you to explore new ideas, take risks, and grow in ways you never thought possible.

Finding a New Path

For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of seeing my book published by Penguin and proudly displayed in a bookshop. But over time, the world of publishing has changed. Penguin merged with Random House, and their bookshops closed.

My dream, however, didn’t die—it evolved. Curiosity led me to explore independent publishing, an avenue I had previously dismissed. But when I stumbled upon Joanna Penn’s The Creative Penn, I became obsessed!

Her advocacy for indie publishing piqued my interest. I began researching, learning more, and eventually, the idea took hold: Why not try self-publishing? I like being my own boss, so why not apply that to my writing career?

I’m still at the beginning of this journey, but I’m curious—and excited—to see where it will take me. And isn’t that what writing is all about? Following your curiosity to see where it leads, even if the path is different from what you originally envisioned.

The Magic of Living Ideas

Another concept from Elizabeth Gilbert that resonates with me is the idea of “living” ideas. Gilbert believes that ideas are like living entities that float around the universe, searching for a suitable host. When they find the right person, they stick around, grow, and flourish. But if you ignore them, they move on, seeking someone else who will bring them to life.

It may sound fanciful, but it’s a beautiful notion—and one that can inspire you to act on your ideas before they slip away. We all need a little bit of magic in our lives, and believing in the power of living ideas can keep your curiosity and creativity alive.

Final thoughts

So, what are you curious about? Does that curiosity keep you going, even when your passion for your latest book begins to wane? It’s certainly something worth pondering.

If you’re a beginner writer and need help getting started, I invite you to sign up for my video series, 21 Days of Writing Inspiration? Let your curiosity guide you, and who knows where your writing journey will take you?

sitting woman with orange blouse

Emma Dhesi

Emma Dhesi is an author mindset coach and bestselling author who helps writers let go of perfectionism, self-doubt and writer’s block through her signature programme, Unlock Your Creative Block.

She is the host of the YouTube Channel, Emma Dhesi, where she interviews debut and experienced authors alike.

Through her 1:1 coaching programme, Emma helps new authors start and finish their first novel. Emma provides personal written feedback on their pages and guides them through the emotional rollercoaster that is writing a novel!