Watch my video below or read the transcript and see if you recognise any of the signs in yourself.
My question for you today is, do you know the difference between a lack of confidence and imposter syndrome?
Do you think they are the same? Perhaps you think having a lack of confidence means you’ve got imposter syndrome. That’s certainly the conclusion I had and how I viewed those two things. What I later learnt was that they’re two very different things.
Everybody lacks confidence sometimes
Everybody goes through moments of lacking confidence. For example, when your work asks you to do a presentation, or give a speech, or show somebody senior or from a different branch around the office. Or maybe you’re going for a job interview, or you do amateur dramatics and you’ve got a show coming up. It could be anything. Anything that is heightened or out of the ordinary that you’re feeling pressure about.
Most people will feel a lack of confidence in those situations. They might feel unsure about themselves at that moment but they do the show, they give the presentation, they go for the interview, or they show that person around the office.
Afterwards, people come up to them and say, ‘Well done, that went really well. You did a great job. I really enjoyed that show. That presentation was great,’ and your confidence goes up. You think, ‘Yeah, that did go well. I did a good job there. I’m really glad I prepared for that,’ or, ‘Gosh, I was thrown into that situation and I did a really good job and I’m really pleased and I’m proud of myself.’
Do you have imposter syndrome or do you lack confidence?
There are many types of imposter syndrome but all of them have this in common – after you’ve done the presentation or the show, you think, ‘Oh my god, did that go okay? Was that all right?’
It doesn’t matter how many other people say, ‘You did a great job there. Oh my goodness, that was so interesting! I didn’t know this,’ or ‘You made me laugh in that show, it was so good,’ as a person with imposter syndrome, your brain is telling you, ‘They don’t really mean that. They’re just saying that because they feel sorry for me. They’re being polite because it was so bad they just don’t want me to know that.’
Your brain comes up with all kinds of justifications as to why the job you did was really not that good and you do not deserve the success or the accolade that you are receiving.
If somebody says to you, ‘That story was really good, you did a great job there,’ do you come up with a reason as to why it isn’t and you think they’re just saying that and they don’t really mean what they’re saying?
Or can you take that praise or applause and say, ‘Thank you, I worked hard on that. I’m really pleased and proud of myself.’
Which one are you? If you’re the first, you’ve got imposter syndrome. If you’ve got the second, then your confidence, like most people’s, comes and goes.
Let me know if this resonates with you and, if it does, and imposter syndrome is something you recognise in yourself, then join my Unlock Your Creative Block course. It’s all about letting go of imposter syndrome so you can write your novel with confidence, to enjoy writing it and enjoy the accolades you get when you finish that book.
Emma xx
Emma Dhesi
Emma Dhesi is a Certified Author Accelerator Book Coach and bestselling author who helps writers let go of perfectionism, self-doubt and writer's block through her signature programme, Unlock Your Creative Block.
She is the host of the YouTube Channel, Emma Dhesi, where she interviews debut and experienced authors alike.
Through her 1:1 coaching programme, Emma helps new authors start and finish their first novel.
Emma provides personal written feedback on their pages and guides them through the emotional rollercoaster that is writing a novel!
