Watch the video or read the text below to find out why you are not your writing.
Hello my lovely writers.
If you’re currently feeling a bit ‘grr’ about your writing because it’s not going how you want it to go and you’re thinking, is it me? Am I no good at this? Am I not worthy of writing this book? Am I not capable of writing this book?
I want you to stop and reflect on the fact that you are not your writing. The quality of the work you do today is not representative of who you are or your worth as an individual.
Your book is not your baby
I hear a lot of people talk about their novel as being their baby. While that can be a cute little phrase to use and indicate how much you care about the novel you’re writing, if you say this or think about your book being your baby, I want to help you move away from this.
Your book is not your baby. It’s really not your baby. It’s not a living, breathing thing. It’s not a human being, it’s not an animal, it’s not a sentient being; it’s a piece of work. It is a story and, although you may feel connected to your story and you’re passionate about it, it really is not your baby.
Your story is something you’re creating separate from yourself. It is going to be a product you put onto the shelf and encourage others to buy, read and enjoy but it’s not a reflection of you as an individual, nor does it represent you and your self-worth.
If you are having a day where the words aren’t coming, you’re not feeling good and you’re feeling blocked creatively, I want you to know that that doesn’t mean anything about you as a person.
It simply means you’re having one of those days where the words aren’t flowing and you’re finding it a bit tough.
It’s not about you. You are not your work, you are a separate entity and a separate being.
You are not your writing
A lot of writers, particularly at the beginning, see themselves as putting their soul on the page, putting their heart on the page and, if it’s not good on the page, does that mean they’re not a good person? Does it mean they’re not worthy of being a writer or that they don’t deserve to have an agent, a publishing deal or readers? No, it doesn’t mean any of that. It’s two separate things.
One is you, who you are, all your God-given talents and all the things you bring to the world. The other is a piece of fiction you craft and create, work on, revise, shape and turn into magic.
It’s not a reflection of you as an individual. It’s just a piece of work you’re putting out into the world.
If you ever find yourself saying your book is your baby, please don’t. Please know it’s separate. You are separate and you can do it. You get to come back another day when you’re feeling more connected to it and you get to do better work and get to enjoy it more.
Don’t take your self-worth from your writing
When I’m having a bad writing day, if I go back to those words I’ve written that day a week later, I can’t tell the difference. I don’t think I’m unique in that. We just make it a big deal in our heads on the day but, once you go back, you discover that, actually, there’s no difference.
You are not your work. Your work is something separate and I hope you don’t take your self-worth from the writing you’re doing as being representative of you. Sometimes we authors do that too often but, actually, we are separate beings, we are separate entities and one does not reflect the other.
Emma xx
Emma Dhesi
Emma Dhesi is a Certified Author Accelerator Book Coach and bestselling author who helps writers let go of perfectionism, self-doubt and writer's block through her signature programme, Unlock Your Creative Block.
She is the host of the YouTube Channel, Emma Dhesi, where she interviews debut and experienced authors alike.
Through her 1:1 coaching programme, Emma helps new authors start and finish their first novel.
Emma provides personal written feedback on their pages and guides them through the emotional rollercoaster that is writing a novel!
