The gift of habit with Molly Thornton

The gift of habit with Molly Thornton

The gift of habit with Molly Thornton

by Emma Dhesi | Turning Readers Into Writers

Interview with Molly Thornton

Molly Thornton is a multi genre writer and writing coach. Her manuscript proof of you was long listed for both the 2020 Pink big book contest.

And Dan Zach books diverse voices prize. Her writing is forthcoming in peach mag, and has appeared in the LA Times. They said collaborative writing anthology, hippocampus mag, the Seattle globalist lavender review and much, much more.

She is a Lambda Literary fellow and City of West holiday pride poet. So let’s find out a little bit more about Molly, her journey to writing what has made her so successful and the habits that have helped her to get there.

So, so important. If we want to be consistent, long standing writers, we need to get some good habits and practice.

And Molly has some fantastic suggestions. So let’s hear what she’s got to say. Well, welcome, Molly. And thank you so much for joining me today.

Molly Thornton:

Thanks for having me. I’m happy to speak with you and everyone listening today. Welcome.

Emma Dhesi:

Well, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind starting off just telling us about your own journey to writing because I think it was quite varied.

Molly Thornton:

It was Yeah, I think everyone has, you know, an origin story in hindsight of oh, here’s actually when I started writing, which for me, I would say just is journaling and, and also writing letters and emails. When I look back in retrospect, thinking, Oh, right.

When I traveled to Central America, I sent emails home, and everyone was like, I love your emails, which, you know, it was sure everyone’s family says that. But also, if you like writing, then take the win.

And maybe that’s your beginning. So I really started practicing creative writing, in my mid to late 20s. And I just sort of started writing poems, and just writing poems and then thinking,

Okay, well, I really want to know how to write poems, and what is this and are these good and sharing them with people. And from there, I just sort of started playing around, I took a year long class in young adult fiction and worked on a novel there and learned so much about story.

And I like to say that writing that novel, which is in a folder, somewhere lost on my computer, is how I really learned to write and just learn the fundamentals. So that was really the beginning.

And then over the years, I just kept trying different things.

And eventually, you know, I received a fellowship from a queer organization where I got to see oh, this is the world of all the other people who are doing writing like me, and I’m not alone.

And that’s really how How it all it all started.

Emma Dhesi:

Oh, cool. Now I know just from reading your website that in amongst all the writing, you also had a vintage clothing store.

Molly Thornton:

I did, yeah, I’ve had nine lives for sure. So I mean, that’s another way into the story, which is, so I am a long story long, I started college at Antioch College, which if anyone listening knows is a really strange and amazing school in Ohio.

And I was there when the college closed. So my college closed after my sophomore year of school. So I had an even more roundabout way through than I may have otherwise, I ended up finishing school at the University of Washington in Seattle.

And I worked in a natural food store in the deli the whole time I was in school there.

And when I graduated, about a month into it, I just suddenly was only working at the store. And I just had a breaking point and that I just can’t do this anymore, I have to leave now.

And I think within a week or two, I conceived of and began the idea that I was going to instead sell vintage clothing and I quit my job. And it was the heyday of Etsy and open an Etsy store. I had always been really into thrifting, and treasure hunting, my grandmother was the master garage sailor.

And so she took me from the time, you know, I could walk to and taught me how to, you know, find a bargain and find cool antiques and things. So I thought at the time, though, that if I did that, Oh, it’ll be so easy.

I’ll run this business where I’m reselling clothing. And that’s going to give me all this time to explore writing. And I remember at the time, I mean, I knew nothing about being a writer.

I think during the time I had the vintage clothing business, I did start a blog at one point, which again, this was still the heyday of lifestyle blogs. And so I didn’t really want to be a lifestyle blogger.

But that’s what I saw that was out there. So I would you know, occasionally write articles that were like, here’s shoes I like, or here’s how my day was or whatever it was.

And I remember having information from a magazine that a feminist magazine that I was interested in, and I would always look at what they were looking for and think, Okay, I’m gonna write an article that I can pitch to them.

But I didn’t even have the beginnings of the idea of how that would work.

And as I’m sure you know, running a business doesn’t just create all the time in the world for you to sit and write.

So it took a long time to kind of get there from there. Yeah,

Emma Dhesi:

it’s fun. Oh, I love that story. A friend of my parents used to run a vintage clothing store.

And it was one of my favorite things to do was to go there and rummaging around and all the jewelry and the dresses from bygone days, and even inspired a short story that I wrote about, you know, the history of these dresses that, you know, the Grandal days of when they were when the dress was in its heyday.

Molly Thornton:

That’s amazing. That’s great. That’s what you that’s what I should have been doing as I should have been taking each object I had as a story prompt. Yeah.

Emma Dhesi:

Well, now you know you are the writer that you want it to be. And one of the things I know that you talk a lot about is about developing a habit.

And it’s certainly in my own experience has been one of the kind of more surefire ways of not just starting a novel, but getting it finished getting to the finish line.

And I know that that’s something that you also help writers with. And I wonder why do you think it is that habits are so important for us if we want to finish a project?

Molly Thornton:

Yeah, I just listened to something again, recently that was talking about how we overestimate our willpower. And it’s just a matter of our brains. It’s just we think that our brains can do so much more on their own than they can and we think, Okay, well, I’m just gonna muscle my way into this.

And actually, no matter who you are, our brains just don’t have the capacity to do that.

So we have to have some sort of reward system or some sort of structure that we’re falling back on in order to make it through, I think something that we struggle with as writers that And part of what can also be a habit is, what gets you started is some sort of impulse, right?

Like you’re either have a new idea that you’re really excited about, or you have something that you really need to express, like if you’re writing about your own life or writing through something, and you’re compelled to sort of process it in that way that gets you going.

And for me, I very much will let something go once I’ve gotten through that first impulse.

So the habit to return to it is really important. Not always, but if you want to get something through to completion, then then it is. So a couple of different ways to approach that are having a structure. So if you this is kind of like getting rid of decision fatigue, for me, that’s a big part of it, too.

Right is, well, when should I do it? How should I do it? Should I do this instead, and just sort of spiraling through so that what’s really helpful about a habit and a structure is it cuts down the decisions you have to make if you can get to a place where even once a once a week, you know that that’s your writing time and you have an hour.

And that’s it at that time, and there’s no questions about it, then, that’s one less thing you have to decide. And you can always just go back to

Emma Dhesi:

it. I remember him. Wasn’t that something that Barack Obama used to talk about? That he would just wear the same suit every time because he had to make so many decisions about everything else. The last thing he wanted to think about was what he was wearing.

Molly Thornton:

Yes, I feel like in those roundups of like habits of the highly successful people that’s a common one is, yeah, they wear a uniform so that they can focus on bigger decisions in their day and not use their creative energy on all of the small things that get us to the point where even start the day. Yeah, yeah,

Emma Dhesi:

decision fatigue. Cool. And what about your own writing habits? Or rituals?

Do you have any for yourself, either when you are drafting or revising your own work, or when you’re kind of looking at your your clients and students work?

Molly Thornton:

Yeah, so with my own work, I have to cut distractions. So when I’m gonna try to focus on anything, I put my phone out of reach, and turn it off. I also have this is a newer one I have is on my desk, I have a mini whiteboard.

Because one of the things that I learned about habits this year is that visual cues are really helpful because we’re visual, as as as animals as humans. So I will write the seems ridiculous that you wouldn’t need this.

But I will write on my whiteboard, the one thing that I’m working on, so that as I start to wander in my brain, open new tabs on my computer, when I finally get to the moment in my brain where I think, Wait, what was I doing, I have the giant whiteboard is says, you know, revised chapter five, or, you know, finish this task you’re doing before we move on to the next.

I also, I like to set timers. So I’ll often do not a strict Pomodoro method, which is 25 minutes, and then five minute breaks. But I usually will set a timer for 25 minutes if I’m trying to get into something.

And then usually once I get started on something, I’m not as strict about the times, but I like to know that I can get up and wander around, because otherwise, I will just continue to think of one more thing or refill my water one more time.

So those things sort of really helped me get in the seat. And then I really like and find it helpful to have embodiment and physical process in my practice to sort of get out of the thinking brain.

So immediately with a writing session, I will sometimes dance either in the beginning or as a break between writing sessions, to just sort of let go of whatever is in my brain and get in a different state of mind. And in general, I find that I hike in my neighborhood a couple times a week, I live really close to a hike.

And that helps me get so many story ideas and get inspired because it’s that kind of I think people often say in the shower too, right? Like on a walk or in the shower, you suddenly have an idea that you’ve been sitting and struggling over.

So knowing that things like that taking my hike are parts of my work. writing process, even when I’m not sitting down to write is helpful, and helps me have something to bring to the page when I sit down for the writing

Emma Dhesi:

one like a lot of those and love the idea of having the whiteboard there, and just keeping you sort of giving you that Northstar, about what you’re working on, rather than getting distracted. And I love the the dancing as well.

That’s always a good fun and kind of good for your physicality as well, just to kind of shake it all out of your body. You’ve mentioned something there that I thought was worth highlighting as the about the whiteboard, you said, you know, this is a new addition to your habit.

And that is a good reminder that habits can change and what works for us at any one time can alter and kind of move with our own state of mind, I suppose. Do you find that you’re a little bit more fluid with your habits? Or did once they’re in they kind of stay?

Molly Thornton:

That’s a good point. That’s a really good point.

And, yeah, I definitely am fluid with them. And that I think that’s really important.

Because I think when you read about habits, and a lot of people who you know, will tell you about their cold showers and how they do everything really well in five minutes. I’m not one of those people at all.

And it can be really discouraging. If that doesn’t work for you, and you’re have a kind of brain or you’re the kind of person where doing the same thing day in and day out doesn’t work for you for various kinds of reasons that can be because you have too many things going on your schedule is variable.

Or it just doesn’t motivate you. And it’s important to be able to have habits that you can lean on when when you need them but not think, Oh, well, I didn’t wake up at 530 this morning, so my writing can’t happen.

So I think maybe I kind of try to have my habits be a little bit more modular, so that they can fit in with when it is time or when I’m wanting to do something and no, okay, even bribery, you know, I will I will eat chocolate while writing if I need to.

Or sometimes all of the sometimes I did this yesterday, I had to finish something I didn’t want to finish. And I had some food I could make. But I told myself, Okay, well, I can order some takeout that I want.

If I get this done, those things really help and you can fit in whatever those habits are when you have the time, because I love that idea. A lot of people talk about this, but like moving 1% forward.

So that you know, you don’t have to do it all at once. And any little, any little thing that you do is cumulative. And with writing that that is tangible. If you write a sentence yesterday, and you write a sentence today, and you write a sentence tomorrow, you’ll have your story and a couple of weeks just by doing that.

And it’s easy to forget that and think that you haven’t done enough. So you’ve got to kind of count all of those, no, I have three sentences, I have three days in the direction of what I’m trying to go towards, and know that those outweigh the one day that you didn’t get to your writing or the week that you didn’t get to your writing, you still have all these votes in the direction of what you want to do that you can bring forward.

Emma Dhesi:

Yeah, I love that the cumulative effect. It’s so so true. Just out of curiosity, what music do you prefer to listen to when you’re writing or getting into the mood for writing?

Molly Thornton:

Well, I taught a class for a lot of last year that’s called the right moves, which is the dancing and writing practice combined. So I have a bunch of themed playlists from that that I are sometimes use.

And I really love. I take this, like non choreographed choreograph dance aerobics class sometimes that I really love. And so I think a lot of those lists initially started with pop music or dance music from those that are just really high energy that I love.

But lately, I’ve been working on a novel for about a year. So typically, when I sit down to work, I’m listening to that playlist that I have with that which I continue to add things to, but a lot of it is the Taylor Swift album from last year folklore. I still am listening to that on repeat, and I don’t know it really goes with that novel for some reason.

Interview with Molly Thornton

Emma Dhesi:

Oh, okay. I’m intrigued to know what it’s about now.

I’m just one more question about habits because on your website you’ve written and I really spoke to me, you’ve said, after a break, we can get frustrated, nervous, uncertain where we left off, let alone where we want to begin.

And I certainly have found that, you know, I’ve had, I’ve got kids they’ve been off with when the schools were closed.

And I think for a lot of people over the last 18 to 24 months, our usual routines have just been out the window.

And so I wonder if is there one or two sort of strategies you could suggest for people, if they’re, you know, they still haven’t managed to find their groove, again, just one or two things that could help them start that routine off?

Molly Thornton:

Yeah, so one thing that I would say is, even if you have a project going, don’t put the pressure on yourself to immediately return to that.

And instead, find whatever way in you can to just return to your writing.

So maybe that’s journaling, or just some sort of experimentation and play.

And I have to say, I’ve been going through this too, as I’m in a stage with my novel, where it really does just need revision, which takes forever and is tedious.

And I’m remembering that I need to let myself have continued to have creative process where I’m just innovating, where I’m just playing around, because that is where we experience more of the satisfaction of writing that’s not tied to well, when am I going to get this done.

So finding, you know, a little bit of time just to do any writing to read a poem and use it as a prompt is a good way to kind of build the confidence back and remember, Oh, I am a writer.

And I do have ideas and kind of get a little bit of a quicker win. Because you can get a quicker win.

If you write a very a piece of flash fiction, or you know, a very short essay or a quick poem, which I know you talk about how you build that confidence from doing right.

So that’s a way to remember, oh, I can do this before you try to get back in.

And then something really practical, that I like to do with my writing that helps you get back into a project is to leave yourself a note of where you left off.

So if you haven’t done that, and you have a latent project, it might take you a little bit of time to do some rereading and make some notes about where you want to go with it.

And there’s an author of Ruth Ozeki, who I learned this from, she calls it a process journal, that she keeps side by side with a draft where she is troubling through whatever she needs to figure out next.

But for me, I have kind of just sort of a mini table that I’m using for my revision where I track, these are the pages that I did last, here’s what I did with them.

And then here’s what the next steps are.

Emma Dhesi:

Okay, lovely. That’s brilliant. Thank you for those.

I’m sure there’ll be some listeners out there who will be able to take those on and get going again.

Yeah, yes. Um, so I’m going to change tack a little bit.

And because I know that you offer some author services, including coaching, and I wonder, what is it that you you enjoy about coaching?

Molly Thornton:

Yeah, I think what I really love about coaching as compared to other ways of working with people on their writing, or just in general is being able to piece so close to someone else’s project and knowing that we can really move forward on exactly what they need and what’s going on with them as compared to abstract tips and tricks and knowing, okay, no, you know, sometimes it’s the right advice at the wrong time.

And people get bogged down on Well, I learned this thing about how you have to write a story. And sometimes they need someone at the right time to say, Yes, that’s good advice.

But in this case, you’ve gone too far, or that’s not necessary for you to follow.

And it’s really exciting to learn about all the different things that people are working on.

I just talked with someone new this week about their memoir, and it just reminded me again, Wow, there’s so many different things that people are writing about and coming up with stories about.

I also really enjoy it because I didn’t take a traditional track to writing and I didn’t have an English degree or any sort of, you know, institutional support or even really community support when I first began to know, what is writing?

What does it mean to be a writer? What do I do with this stuff, any of it.

And I really like to be able to be there to, you know, help with demystifying things that there’s a lot of gatekeepers in writing and publishing.

And I love to be able to share everything I know, and also help people trouble through those stages I went through of, what do you do?

And how do you begin to become a writer when you have three jobs, and you’re moving all the time, and you don’t really know how it’s going to happen? Or what you’re doing?

Emma Dhesi:

Oh, lovely, lots of good stuff there. And yes, it is. It is. I wonder, so did you feel at a disadvantage not having had that traditional route?

Or do you? Have you just kind of find, actually, there’s lots of different ways into it. When you’re looking back, you wish that you’d done that traditional route?

Or has been actually in the long run? It’s not really made a difference?

Molly Thornton:

It’s interesting. I mean, I don’t really know, obviously, because I didn’t go back and do it.

What would be different now, I definitely felt at a disadvantage at certain points, when I did start to get more into writing communities and a lot of things, particularly in the literary world, do have academia sort of in the background of them, even when they’re not, you know, I have a project that I’ve been sending out to small presses.

And even when you’re sending works to literary journals, a lot of them come from colleges.

And so a lot of the people who are reviewing that work and deciding what is literature and what is literature in their journal are coming from academia, and I definitely didn’t, I definitely still don’t have a reference point of exactly what that means from the inside.

And there were definitely times when I felt like well, everyone around me now has an MFA.

And that must be why they’re a writer, and they know how to do this.

But there are so many other ways to get there. And now that I have continued to get information, different ways, you know, I’ve taken classes with different people at different nonprofit organizations and literary organizations, through building writing community just through reading and writing.

There are so many resources, and I feel like now, and something I’m coming to even more, in this season of my writing, is realizing how much more I can still expand my idea of what it means to be a writer, and not being pigeon holed into even wanting to be in literary journals, or even in wanting to make a book.

And I feel like I didn’t, I forgot that for so many years, because I was focused on Okay, well, if I’m writing poetry, and I’m writing essays, and I’m writing fiction, then here’s where this goes.

And as some some projects that I really love are kind of hitting dead ends in those routes, and I’m unwilling to let them go.

And as I’ve started podcasting, and I live in Los Angeles, where everyone is a screenwriter, it’s finally starting to infiltrate me where I’m realizing, oh, a creative writing is behind so many things besides just what you can read on your computer in a book.

Creative Writing is behind podcasts, and audio plays, and movies, and TV, and there’s so many other things that we can do with it.

And I find that really exciting. And I love, just sort of continuing to be able to broaden what creative writing is, without feeling like I’m married to this specific path or community of writing.

Emma Dhesi:

Thank you for sharing that. Because I think it is easy to get stuck down the idea of what it is to be a writer.

And having, especially if we’ve come from if you’re a little bit older, like me, and you’ve come from a tradition, you know, you’ve always read traditional books, traditionally published books, then there’s this kind of idea.

This is the one way but I, a lot of the people that come in contact with are writing across different genres, different formats, different types of writing, and I’m sure they’ll take, they’ll hear what you’re saying and take not necessarily comfort from it, but kind of like okay, that’s good.

I’m not doing anything wrong in inverted commas. This is just part of my own writing experience.

And I am free to explore and play and discover what I love to do. So yeah, that’s a really lovely thing to share. If You?

Molly Thornton:

Yeah. And I think with that, and what I sort of implied is part of that is not going that route doesn’t mean that you do it alone, right?

It’s still important and helpful to find resources that you need and ask for help and find community and and learn what is going on in writing.

But there’s lots of ways to do that besides college program.

Emma Dhesi:

So you your coaching service, your own coaching service, how does that work? How do you work with you or your students?

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Molly Thornton:

Yeah, so there’s two main ways that I find writers tend to come to me so one that I’ve started calling Shape Up Your story is for folks who are they’ve made good headway on a first draft, or they’re starting a first draft, or they’re working on a revision.

And they don’t, they’re not dealing as much with some of the problems that you and I have talked about with habits and things.

They’re the type of writers who are able to just kind of get the writing done, but they’re at a stage where they need some eyes on the work or they’re a little bit stalled out and not sure where to go. So they’re looking for someone to kind of be a sounding board or offer some review with them.

So I working with writers like that. They’re guiding someone else who knows they’re characters who gets into the nitty gritty of, okay, where does this begin, middle and end?

And where should it begin, middle and end and how to actually get through writing or revising a draft of something, often a novel, but not always.

And then the other way that I work with people, I call build, build your writing life. So that’s more about the habits and getting into something.

Either way, when I’m working with coaching clients, we usually have sort of a Northstar of usually they they have something that they want to work on long term, sometimes multiple things, and I will work with them to try to figure out okay, which one of these can we sort of focus in on and choose to be the project for now and kind of Project Map? What are the components of this? And how can you begin to move towards it.

So there’s a combination of this sort of left brain project management aspect of it. And with that, I like to, as we talked about the visual cues, give people things like a writing tracker where they can see, okay, I did get something done, and this is moving forward.

And at the same time, I always keep this flexibility of, okay, well, you know, if that’s not interesting, you right now, then you should work on something else. And if you had an off week, or right, you’re not feeling into this, well, then what do you need to do to get in fuse?

Are you reading and watching stuff that’s interesting to you, is the time that you’re trying to get your writing done not working? So sometimes it’s in the nitty gritty of the when, and how are you finding time? And is that working for you? And how can we make it more fun or more easy for you to get to it.

And sometimes, it’s really focusing on all of those fears, some coaching clients, we talk over and over again about where they’re getting stuck internally, and just figuring out how to make little baby steps.

And one thing we didn’t talk about directly previously, is, with people trying to get back to their work as the main thing that they might need to do is just to forgive themselves.

Emma Dhesi:

Talk a little bit more about that.

Molly Thornton:

So we without noticing, I think and this sometimes happens to me, we get so we get so mad at ourselves about the time that we didn’t write. And that seems to overtake the fact that we can still write, it’s not over.

But we feel we feel like it even without consciously knowing that so it can be helpful to begin to notice on your own or with a coach.

Oh, these are the things I’m telling myself because you may not even notice because to you, it’s just how you go about your day.

You just go about your day telling yourself No, I can’t do that. No, I’m not good at that.

No, I’ll never be this without thinking about it. And actually, you can do it and it’s okay. And you can you can start again.

Emma Dhesi:

Yes, it was something that I kind of mentioned, as well as about, you know, rather than chastising yourself for what you haven’t done Coaching gives you the opportunity to kind of look at what’s the possibility of what you can still do. Right?

I certainly fall into that myself now and again, the end of the week, I think, Ah, I’ve not, I’ve not achieved what I wanted to achieve this week.

It’s gone gone wrong. But actually, it’s not all gone wrong. I’ve still gotten some work done. And so that’s good.

Molly Thornton:

The patience is really hard. I really struggle with that, too.

And as much as I’ve experienced, and I’ve seen people even working as fast as possible, taking years to complete things,

I still fall into thinking, Well, you’ve been working on this for a year, why isn’t it finished? And it’s just not helpful at all.

Emma Dhesi:

It’s so note. So if any of our listeners are kind of recognizing these patterns in themselves and thinking,

Yeah, I need someone to help me do this. Do you work with writers of sort of all genres? Or do you like working with specific story types,

Molly Thornton:

I really, I really like to work on different things. So I, I find that most people who I typically work with are working on novels, but I write poetry, I write creative nonfiction, and most of the creative nonfiction that I write is pretty non traditional kind of hybrid work that’s more like lyric essay, or more like poetry.

And I’ve worked with folks on memoirs before, and I kind of will take what whatever it is, you know, I really love getting into something that’s a new project.

Last year, I worked with someone, for instance, who was writing almost an anthology that had some essays in it, some poetry from other people in it, and who also was a visual artist and had some images that went along with the themes of the work.

And that was such a fun project. I’ve also worked with someone on a children’s picture book, which was so fun.

So I kind of always like to get into something new.

And I think that, you know, what I understand about story structure, what I understand about the writing process, all applies to those various topics.

Emma Dhesi:

Yeah, love lay. And now, you mentioned a little bit earlier on that you were working on the revision of a novel at the moment, are you able to tell us a little bit about it?

Molly Thornton:

I can. So I, I drafted this novel during NaNoWriMo National Novel Writing Month last year, which I really love. It’s just, I love the energy of knowing that there’s so many people hustling on their novels at the same time. So I had participated before.

And I I knew that I hadn’t worked on fiction for a couple years. And I knew that I had one that I wanted to do. So last summer, I started keeping a notebook where I just was writing down ideas I had about characters and about the setting.

And I started with this, what if that was something I think probably a lot of us have worried about, which is, what if you? What if you accidentally hit someone with your car? And what if the person that you accidentally hit with your car, you would have had a motive to do it.

But you didn’t do it on purpose? Or did you write so I it’s that’s very far from now what it is, that is a very small part of it.

But I sort of started exploring this idea about these two friends and also kind of a gothic quality, which I have since learned a lot about because I noticed Okay, well the house is very much a character in this story.

And it’s almost kind of like a domestic thriller with kind of this Gothic vibe, where it’s like, everything is going on in the house and like what’s going on with the house. So at the heart of it, it’s really about kind of a friendship gone wrong.

And I really enjoy sort of exploring just queer relationships and just really close friendships.

And so this is very much based on my life in the fact that I have, you know, had had bad girlfriends and had bad friends.

And at the same time, everything that happens in this is highly, highly exaggerated from anything that I’ve experienced, but there’s them, you know, kind of a scam artist and some some Yeah, friendships gone awry.

And it’s really been fun to Write.

Emma Dhesi:

I love stories that have a house in them. I don’t know what it is about, yeah. That nucleus perhaps or that they bring people together and also quite confined, can add that bit of tension to it.

Molly Thornton:

All right, it’s a really good is a really good way to attract your characters. Yeah.

Emma Dhesi:

Oh well Molly, the time has gone so quickly.

And I’ve so enjoyed chatting with you, thank you so much for sharing your insight on habits, the benefits of them how people can start building new habits and telling us about your coaching services too.

And also, I’m excited about your your novel, do you have an expected date when you’ll either be finished or published or querying?

Molly Thornton:

I don’t know right now, I wish that I have a timeline for this next draft, which is my my biggest goal.

My I’m working on the first big revision of it. And so I’m hoping that by the end of this year, in the next couple of months, I have a revision of it done that I’m ready for people to read.

And then get a couple of reviewers to give comments on it in the new year.

Maybe get a new revision on it in the spring. And maybe by this time next year, that will mean that fingers crossed and agent wants it and it’s beginning to have a life we’ll see.

Emma Dhesi:

Yeah, well, fingers crossed. Good luck with it. Just before we sign off, can you let our listeners know where they can find out more about you?

Molly Thornton:

Yeah, the best place to find me is on my website, which is Molly Thornton writes.com.

And you can also email me at Mollythorntonwrites@gmail.com. I’m on social media, but not really.

So that’s the best place to to reach me if you want to drop a line.

Emma Dhesi:

Fantastic. Well, that will I’ll be sure to put that in the show notes. Lovely. Well, thank you very much.

Molly Thornton:

Thank you, Emma.

Emma Dhesi:

Well, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you find that helpful and inspirational.

Now, don’t forget to come on over to facebook and join my group, turning readers into writers.

It is especially for you if you are a beginner writer who is looking to write their first novel.

If you join the group, you will also find a free cheat sheet there called Three Secret hacks to write with consistency.

So go to Emmadhesi.com/turning readers into writers. Hit join. Can’t wait to see you in there. All right. Thank you. Bye bye

If you’ve been working on your novel for years (perhaps even decades) the maybe it's time to consider working with a coach.

If you have multiple versions of your novel and you don’t know which works best, are scared nobody will like your book and don't feel like a 'real' writer, then my guess is coaching is the right next step for you.

Find out more and sign up for your free Clarity Call here: https://emmadhesi.com/personal-coaching/

 

Alliance of Independent Authors

Shortcuts for Writers

Do you feel as if you don’t have the time or the money to invest in editing your novel? I know an online course that can help you to transform your manuscript WITHOUT breaking the bank. It’s called Book Editing Blueprint: A Step-By-Step Plan To Making Your Novels Publishable, and it was created by Stacy Juba of Shortcuts for Writers.

 

sitting woman with orange blouse

Emma Dhesi

Emma Dhesi is author mindset coach and bestseller author who helps writers let go of perfectionism, self-doubt and writer's block through her signature programme, Unlock Your Creative Block.

She is the host of the YouTube Channel, Emma Dhesi, where she interviews debut and experienced authors alike.

She is a Certified Author Accelerator Book Coach. 

What Stops You Writing?

What Stops You Writing?

What stops your writing?

by Emma Dhesi | Turning Readers Into Writers

What Stops You Writing?

You want to write a novel. In fact, it’s something you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember. So what stops you writing? 

You dabbled at school (English being your favourite subject, of course!) 

You’ve journalled off and on for years.  

You have very possibly taken part in evening classes or weekend workshops on how to start your novel.  

Take comfort from the fact you are not alone in procrastinating! So what stops you writing?

There’s usually two things.

1. Confidence 

You lack confidence in the quality of your writing.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO of an international financial institution, or regularly go into burning buildings and save lives. It doesn’t matter if you are a teacher who teaches other people to write!

You can be, in every other aspect of your life, assertive and knowledgeable. But when it comes to your writing, your confidence let you down. Why is this? 

Writing craft 

Some of it is to do with the practicalities of writing a novel. For example, how to structure the story, how to create believable characters or even how to write the very first sentence which, by the way, is usually one of the last sentences you write! 

But some of it runs deeper than that. You feel you are baring your soul and being more vulnerable than you’ve ever been in your life.  

Vulnerability 

You worry that if people ever read your work, they would think the story was about you or reflects your own beliefs and thoughts. 

Other people’s opinions will also hold you back. We writers are a strange breed indeed. Who else would want to spend hours alone talking and interacting with imaginary people?  

I bet most people you know would rather be out socialising, chatting on the phone or browsing Amazon for their next daily deal. Whereas you and I, we would rather be tucked up in bed, or on the sofa or at the kitchen table with our laptop creating worlds that only exist in our heads. 

It’s a waste of time 

What we do is a bit on the strange side and, if we’re honest, many people just don’t “get” it. And that’s okay, they don’t have to. 

But it can take a toll on your dreams. I know several people whose family members have dissuaded them from writing.

They’ve been told writing is a waste of time and will never pay the bills.

They’ve been made to feel guilty for wanting to do something for themselves. They have told it is a selfish thing to do. 

This knocks your confidence and desire to create. It makes you question whether or not they’re right and it is a waste of time.

It leaves you examining if you have what it takes either in terms for writing craft and emotionally. 

Take it from me that you do have what it takes. I know because I know you are an avid reader.

I know you have read tens of thousands, possibly even millions, of words.  

And because of this you know how to tell a story – you just don’t believe it yet! 

What else stops you writing?

what stops you writing

From time to time, I link to products or services I love using with affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small percentage or fee for referring you to any product you may purchase from one of those sites. It does not cost you anything. These small fees help sustain my small business. I truly appreciate your support.

2. You don’t have time

This is the second thing that stops you writing.  

You work full-time or part-time. You have children. You have parents to look after. You have a sibling to look after. You have grandchildren to look after. 

You have friends you want to spend time with. You have hobbies you enjoy. You have sports you like to take part in. 

At first glance this leaves you with little to no time to write. Especially if you follow Stephen King’s advice.  

Stephen King 

If you’ve read his memoir, On Writing, you’ve read that if you want to be a “proper” writer you need to write every day and for two hours a day.  

I read this many years ago and took it to heart. Why would I not believe Stephen King given how successful and prolific he is? 

I tried to do as he said. I tried to write every day for two hours, but how could I do that when I had 3 children to look after? 

I was also trying to manage postnatal depression at the time, and while writing helped me escape my day-to-day emotions, I didn’t have the mental capacity to sit down for two hours at a time.  

People often underestimate the amount of mental work it takes to create a world from nothing, especially when just getting through the day was difficult. I didn’t have any extra reserves to turn into this “proper” writer. 

But think about it: Your life is busy, so how do you make time to see your friends? How do you find the time to watch that TV drama that you love? How do you find the time to play netball on a Wednesday evening every week?  

All of these things, things you enjoy, you make time for. And it’s the same for your writing.

If you enjoy writing you can make time for it. 

Transition 

However, I don’t believe you need to write for hours every day to be a writer. Becoming a writer takes time and you need to allow yourself a period of transition.  

You can write for small periods of time, two or three times a week. You can start training yourself to sit down and write straight away, but that takes time. 

You need to find your groove, your routine, and build your confidence over a period of time. By starting small you take the pressure off. Build your writing time, and in time your confidence, in small increments.  

Are you ready? 

So now it’s up to you. Do you want this?  

Are you ready to make the commitment to yourself (nobody else, just you) and show up each week?  

Are you going to keep giving yourself the excuse that you don’t have what it takes nor do you don’t have the time, or are you going to acknowledge that being a writer takes time and you need to go through a period of transition? 

If you are struggling with confidence and how to make the time you need, rest reassured that you are in good company. Everybody, even published writers, struggle with this to a greater or lesser degree. 

The difference is, those published writers faced their fears and did it, anyway. 

If you love writing, if that’s what makes you happy and fulfils a part of you that nothing else can, you owe it to yourself to ignore your naysayers, ignore your own inner critic, and get started. 

What are you gonna do? The decision is yours, but if you are ready to start, I am ready to help you. 

If you’ve been working on your novel for years (perhaps even decades) the maybe it's time to consider working with a coach.

If you have multiple versions of your novel and you don’t know which works best, are scared nobody will like your book and don't feel like a 'real' writer, then my guess is coaching is the right next step for you.

Find out more and sign up for your free Clarity Call here: https://emmadhesi.com/personal-coaching/

 

emma dhesi

Emma Dhesi writes women’s fiction. She began writing seriously while a stay at home mum with 3 pre-school children.

By changing her mindset, being consistent and developing confidence, Emma has gone from having a collection of handwritten notes to a fully written, edited and published novel.

Having experienced first-hand how writing changes lives, Emma now helps beginner writers find the time and confidence to write their first novel.

2 Reasons Authors Need To Keep A Journal

2 Reasons Authors Need To Keep A Journal

If you are an author, you need to keep a journal. There are no two ways about it. It’s one of the most important implements an author can have in their toolbox.

 

It’s not a diary

 

A journal is not a diary. It’s not for writing what you did that day, the appointments you kept and who you spoke to. That’s what Google calendar is for!

A journal goes much deeper and is used to record your more meaningful interactions and experiences, as well as your daily affirmations and gratitudes if you write those.

There are two reasons you should keep a journal.

 

1. It gets you into the habit of writing every day

 

If you’re brand-new to writing and haven’t yet found your groove, journalling for five minutes or so at the beginning or end of the day is an ideal way to set up your writing habits.

It may be you don’t yet have a work in progress to write about, but you can journal about any ideas you’re mulling over or even what’s on your mind more generally.

Again, this isn’t about which appointment you had, it is about how you felt that day. Did you have an argument with someone in the supermarket over the last packet of toilet roll and it left you feeling out of sorts? Did your teenager say something particularly hurtful?

That is why you keep a journal, so you can write about it and let go of those negative feelings.

If someone paid you a compliment or said you did a good job on something, write about that too. Enjoy the feeling, you deserve to.

 

2. It helps you work out your story and how you feel about your writing

 

This is a place where you can write out what is and isn’t working with your work in progress. It’s where you can jot down ideas about storyline or character.

Or generally, just have a good moan about what’s not working!

If you’ve hit a dead-end in your story, solutions will miraculously open up in front of you. They will appear in ways you would never have envisaged if you’d simply sat at your desk and stared at a blank page or screen.

Equally, you can celebrate what is working in your novel. You can write about what you do you like about your characters, their funny quirks and what makes you laugh.

I never cease to be amazed at how much clarity I gain from journalling about my work in progress. For example, I have an idea for my next novel but at the moment that’s all it is.

I’m a discovery writer so I never know what will happen, but I like to jot down notes and ideas to help formulate a basic story in my head.

 

 

Let your subconscious take over

 

Journalling is a bit like freewriting, it lets your subconscious take over. And when that happens, you just don’t know what will emerge.

I journal each night. Most evenings I only write my affirmations and gratitudes. But when there is something bothering me, work-related or otherwise, I take the time to go to bed early and write it out.

Nine times out of ten I will find a solution or way through whatever is bothering me. It might not be the ultimate answer, but it is the next step along the road to moving beyond the predicament I’m in.

What you write about might be work-related, it might be about your relationship, it might even be parenthood related. No matter what, journalling will help you sort out what’s important and what isn’t, what you can do something about and what you have no control over.

 

Journal examples

 

If you’re looking for something to kick-start your journalling life, one of these should get you going:

  • Bullet journal – literally list out the things that have impacted your day
  • Morning pages – you write as soon as you wake up in the morning before you’ve had a chance to switch on properly. The idea behind this is that you’ll write from a free place before you’ve allowed your rational brain to dictate your thoughts. Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way, goes into morning pages in a lot of detail and is an exceptional book for all creatives.
  • Gratitudinal journal – this is what I do each day. You simply write down 10 things you’re grateful for that day. It can be big stuff like a new job or house, to tiny things like a particularly good cup of coffee or seeing a bird singing in the tree outside your home.

I add my affirmations onto this as well, thus completing the circle of gratitude for things that have happened and those that have yet to come.

  • Health journal – if you’re going through a particularly tough health problem, write about it. It will be something for you to look back on and chart your road to wellness. If you’re getting fitter, record how you’re feeling after each exercise session or a new recipe you’ve tried. Record your weight or clothes size, or however you’re measuring your new fitness.
  • Pregnancy journal – what better way to remember your pregnancy than with a journal. You can keep a record of your growing waistline, body changes, the first kicks, the fatigue and the joy! You can stick photos of your bump in there and list possible names. Pregnancy is such a weird and wonderful time of life (you’re growing a human for goodness sake!!) it’s well worth documenting.

 

A final tip

 

So many people write electronically these days, but my little tip to you would be to invest in a nice notepad and pen. There is something very grounding about doing it this way because it slows your brain down and connects you in a much more visceral way to the words you’re writing.

Plus, it’s only for you so you don’t need to worry about your handwriting!

Additionally, there’s something aesthetically pleasing about a nice notebook. It is much more personal and will mean a lot more than a plain old google document.

 


 

 

 

If you found this useful, you’ll love these:

Do you like what you write?

Do you like what you write?

From time to time, I link to products or services I love using affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small percentage or fee for referring you to any product you may purchase from one of those sites. It does not cost you anything. These small fees help sustain my small business. I truly appreciate your support.

You don't like what you write?

by Emma Dhesi | Turning Readers Into Writers

You don’t like what your write?

Do you feel like everything you write is rubbish? When you read it back do you think to yourself, oh my god that sucks! There are 5 things you can do to move past this.

Being insecure about your work isn’t exclusive to you, believe me! I spent many years doubting every word I wrote.

I wanted to write like my literary heroes but just couldn’t see stories or word choices as being equal to them. And perhaps they weren’t but I didn’t let that stop me.

Does that sound like you? If it does, don’t let your self-doubt stop you from writing because the more you write, the more confident you’ll become.

Everybody has moments of insecurity but the thing is to keep writing, get your words out. You can fix and improve later on. It’s all part of the creative process unfortunately.

There is also a good chance that your first draft, your rough draft, isn’t going to be great and that’s okay.

Remember what Anne Lamott says, all you need is your ‘first shitty draft’. But you keep on writing because only once you have something down on paper can you go back and make better.

As somebody once said, that is why it’s called a rough draft!

So how can you move past being your own worst critic? There are 5 things you can do.

1. Keep writing

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, and you might not find it very helpful, but the truth is the best way to build your confidence is to build a body of work.

This doesn’t need to be a catalogue of novels, it can be just one novel. It can even just be a couple of short stories.

But once you start to see your word count build or the pile of pages on your desk get fatter, you’ll begin to take more pride in the work that you do.

When you create something good for yourself it makes you feel happy and that gives you a confidence boost.

That confidence is what you need to do it again, and more of it.

Again, that makes you feel fabulous about yourself, builds more confidence, and so you go at it again, and again – each time bigger and better.

You produce a circle of positivity for yourself and you’ll find that the circle of positivity replaces the self-limiting belief you carry around with you.

Eventually you’ll figure out that you can finish your novel, you’ll realise that your goal is absolutely doable. It’s just a matter of doing it, lifting your confidence and gaining momentum.

2. Write for yourself

When you write for your own pleasure and your own enjoyment, it takes the pressure away.

If at the back of your mind you’re always worrying about what your family and friends will say, or what a possible agent or publisher will think, you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to produce work to the standard of your favourite novelist. A novelist who has been writing for a long time and been through the editing process many times.

You will never produce that level of writing on your first attempt and without an editor to help. Fact!

Traditionally published books go through six different editors. Just imagine how much feedback the writer gets then!

What you need to do at this stage is write just for yourself.

What stories do you like to read? What kind of characters do you identify with? Whatever it is, this is what you should be putting into your book.

Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, punctuation, all those things that are secondary to your storytelling. Remember, your superpower is storytelling, not being a linguist!

3. Get feedback

If you are just beginning your writing career, external feedback can be hugely helpful and encouraging.

If you’re not yet part of one, try looking for a local writing group. Not only will you find like-minded people from whom you can get feedback, but the very fact that you are sharing your work will help boost your confidence.

I would add in a caveat: those other readers will give you their opinion, but their opinion is not gospel.

If you don’t agree with something they’ve said, particularly if it’s just one person, you don’t have to follow through on their words. But if there is a general consensus that the story needs a little extra, then that is worth thinking about and perhaps acting on.

If you’re nervous to give your stories to people that you know, you can always employ beta readers. You’ll need to pay them initially but as your confidence strengthens, you’ll rely on them less and less until you get to a point where people are happy to beta read your work because they love it.

In the meantime, having a stranger give an honest opinion on your work might be what you need to boost your confidence and reconnect you with your instincts

emma dhesi don't like what you write

4. Overwrite

This is something I find almost impossible but it might be just what you need. When you’re writing your first draft overwrite. Write everything to do with your story.

For example, if you’re writing a 70,000 word novel, write 85,000 to 90,000 words. When you go to edit, you cut out all the extraneous stuff you don’t like and be left with the just the good stuff.

And believe me when I tell you that amongst all the bad there will be a lot of good. You just can’t see it yet.

Self editing can be hugely rewarding because you can take a paragraph that you initially don’t like and craft it into something that you’re proud of, and that feeling is great. It is a part of boosting your confidence and validating your work yourself.

5. Read your work out loud

Often when we read things in our head, it makes perfect sense to us. Only once you start to read your words out loud do the gaps in your writing rise to the top.

You’ll hear for yourself what’s not working and, crucially, what is working.

Give yourself grace

Don’t forget that success comes with time. The writers you so admire have been honing their craft from many years.

They were once where you are now, full of self-doubt and doubting every word they wrote.

If you listen to author interviews you’ll hear even the best seller still struggle with imposter syndrome and are convinced this is the book people will realise they’re not worthy!

Most writers have drawers or files full of work they would never show to the outside world. But they wouldn’t be the writers they are today if they hadn’t written those words.

You are not alone!

Try one of the 5 techniques listed above, one of them might just be what you need to push yourself forward. Intime you’ll start to feel more confident about your work until it gets the point you are happy to share it, and maybe even publish it.

If you’ve been working on your novel for years (perhaps even decades) the maybe it's time to consider working with a coach.

If you have multiple versions of your novel and you don’t know which works best, are scared nobody will like your book and don't feel like a 'real' writer, then my guess is coaching is the right next step for you.

Find out more and sign up for your free Clarity Call here: https://emmadhesi.com/personal-coaching/

 

emma dhesi

Emma Dhesi writes women’s fiction. She began writing seriously while a stay at home mum with 3 pre-school children.

By changing her mindset, being consistent and developing confidence, Emma has gone from having a collection of handwritten notes to a fully written, edited and published novel.

Having experienced first-hand how writing changes lives, Emma now helps beginner writers find the time and confidence to write their first novel.

What’s the right chapter length?

What’s the right chapter length?

From time to time, I link to products or services I love using with affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small percentage or fee for referring you to any product you may purchase from one of those sites. It does not cost you anything. These small fees help sustain my small business. I truly appreciate your support.

How Long Should A Chapter Be?

by Emma Dhesi | Turning Readers Into Writers

How long does a chapter need to be?

 

When you’re starting out on your writing journey, you might wonder what the right chapter length is. If you are, let me reassure you that this is something you don’t need to worry about! Your chapters will be as long as you feel they need to be.

For example, do you want to have a cliffhanger at the end of each chapter? Then you might want to use short sharp chapters, like Dan Brown, for fast pace.

Or perhaps your story is a slower read, more about character evolvement than plot speed, and so you can afford to be more languid in your writing, evoking a mood or feeling rather than action.

Let’s look at when to use long chapters and when to use small.

 

Short chapter length

 

Some people really like short chapters. This is because they enjoy the feeling of speeding through the book. They want to be taken on a journey and don’t want to have to think too deeply. It’s escapism.

Perhaps they read whilst commuting to work and so want to know they can finish a chapter before arriving at their station. Or perhaps they just have a short attention span!

Some books have up to 60 or 70 chapters, but each chapter is perhaps only two or three pages long. They have essentially broken down their scenes into chapters because they want to have clear breaks between each scene.

This might be because the story is being told from multiple points of view, or there are jumps in the timeline. For example, the story goes backwards and forwards and uses a lot of flashbacks.

Be wary of making your chapters too small, though. Your reader still needs to feel that there is a point to the chapter and that it serves a purpose.

That said, there are chapters out there that are as short as a single word, but that word has relevance to the story as a whole and tells the reader exactly what they need to know in that moment.

This, of course, needs to be balanced out with fuller chapters and can only be used to serve a particular purpose.

how long does a chapter need to be

Longer chapter length

Most people don’t mind a decent length of chapter, but if the chapter goes on for 20 pages or more, it can be off putting, especially if there is no section break that allows the reader to take a breath.

Visualising an image painted by a writer burns a lot of calories! You need to give your reader the space between each image to take a breath and rest their brain!

If you make it too difficult for the reader, they may switch off. There are not many readers who enjoy such a long piece of writing without the opportunity of coming up for air.

That said, for those readers that don’t mind a longer chapter, it is usually because they see each chapter as a little story within the bigger story.

If you choose to write long chapters, ensure that you give the reader a complete picture so they’re not left feeling like they’ve spent all this time reading but haven’t gained anything by it. There must be some kind of resolution or conclusion at the end of that chapter before you move onto the next one.

Most readers don’t have a set idea of how long they think a chapter should be. It is the storytelling that matters. Ultimately, it comes down to the quality of the writing and the storytelling.

Chapter length should be determined by the completion of the scene or the idea, not the word or page count.

Pacing

Most writers tend to use a mix of longer and shorter chapters because the varying lengths help with pacing. If you want to slow the story down, you might use a longer chapter that lingers on one scene and goes into it in great depth.

But if you want to speed the book up, you might use smaller chapters to keep build tension.

It can also be used to give the reader the sense of nearing the end of the story, that the drama is heightening and they mustn’t put the book down.

Having readers complain that they can’t get to sleep because they have to read “one more chapter”, is something that every writer wants to hear and using pace is one way to achieve this.

Trust your instincts

So, as you can see, there are reasons to use both long and short chapters. Ultimately, you need to trust your gut when it comes to the right length. Nobody knows your story like you. Nobody knows how the story needs to be told except you.

When you read your work back, how does it seem to you? If it feels too long, then it probably is. If you feel it’s too short and doesn’t have enough depth, it probably is.

Storytelling, at its heart, isn’t complicated. You are a reader. You’ve probably been reading most of your life and have absorbed by osmosis what works for you and what doesn’t. Trust your gut.

When you hire an editor, that is the person who will tell you if you need to add a bit here or take out a bit there. But for now, don’t worry about that, just keep telling the story.

If you’ve been working on your novel for years (perhaps even decades) the maybe it's time to consider working with a coach.

If you have multiple versions of your novel and you don’t know which works best, are scared nobody will like your book and don't feel like a 'real' writer, then my guess is coaching is the right next step for you.

Find out more and sign up for your free Clarity Call here: https://emmadhesi.com/personal-coaching/

 

emma dhesi

Emma Dhesi writes women’s fiction. She began writing seriously while a stay at home mum with 3 pre-school children.

By changing her mindset, being consistent and developing confidence, Emma has gone from having a collection of handwritten notes to a fully written, edited and published novel.

Having experienced first-hand how writing changes lives, Emma now helps beginner writers find the time and confidence to write their first novel.